In the Venn diagram of men and jewelry, there used to be but a narrow overlapping sliver reserved exclusively for rock stars and Johnny Depp, those few shining examples of men granted public permission to adorn themselves with more sparkle than a Vegas showgirl—without jeopardizing their masculinity. Up until recently, that is, when this space began rapidly expanding to welcome men from all walks of life. The proof is everywhere: A dating app swipe session yields innumerable man-bunned surfers displaying their tanned, tattooed, accessorized forearms; a visit to a Williamsburg, Brooklyn, bar has me asking a guy where he purchased the coin pendant hanging from his neck (so that I might snap one up as well); a ride up an escalator in a midtown office building reveals a banker channeling his inner Burning Man aficionado via carefully curated Miansai bracelets. (Let’s not even get started on Depp, whose accessories game officially jumped the shark when he collected a People’s Choice Award with no less than four safety pin–style earrings—in one ear!) And while I’m all about men embracing fashion, this particular manifestation leaves me slightly conflicted: Is mutual accessory approval yet another evaluation criteria to add to the already complex endeavor that is modern dating?
Granted, brands are taking notice, with the men’s jewelry market growing at expedited speed. From such luxury houses as Bottega Veneta and Saint Laurent to smaller labels like Tom Woods and Giles and Brother, it appears that everyone is seizing the opportunity to offer the newest version of the metrosexual male a bohemian touch. Even women’s jewelry designers are jumping on the bandwagon, offering unisex pieces or limited-edition lines, like Jennifer Fisher’s recent capsule collection with Russell Westbrook for Barneys New York. And yet, the question beckons: While shared passions are always a good idea, can the same be said about shared accessories?
To most women, it depends on the man in question. “I love it when men wear jewelry, whether it’s simple or heavy . . . I specifically like jewelry on men with tattoos. Or men who dress nonchalantly and messy, as if they were running out the door and threw on some chains,” says Nausheen Shah, a stylist and fashion and travel editor. While she prefers men’s jewelry that is “masculine and usually silver, brass, or has a worn-in feeling,” she recommends that men with preppier personal style stick more to “thread jewelry” like Dinh Van’s, or simple leather or exotic-skin bands such as those by Hermès. But above all, she cautions, “men who don’t feel comfortable wearing jewelry should probably avoid wearing any, as you must feel confident to pull it off.”
Michael Dumler, a habitual jewelry wearer and the photographer behind the style blog On Abbot Kinney, concurs: “Style is about confidence and wearing what feels natural. If you’re not comfortable wearing it, it probably won’t look good, so stick to jewelry that is within your comfort zone.” His own daily staples include a Saint Christopher pendant, a Larsson & Jennings watch, two rings, a bracelet by H.O.W.L., and the occasional vintage find. Each piece is selected with careful precision and has strong personal resonance. And it seems that unlike women, who tend toward “must have” staples or seasonal trends in their jewelry, men more often appear to have emotional attachment to their pieces. Model and stylist Michael Daley has been collecting jewelry for years and can take you on a trip down memory lane via his extensive accessories collection—from the simple silver cuff he “borrowed” from his mother and the Montana belt buckle discovered at an odd job as a teen to the cuff with a Buddhist prayer gifted by a friend and the smattering of items left behind by former romantic interests. (Interests who, it’s worth noting, clearly did not have a problem with their beau possibly having a better jewelry box than they do.) In fact, rather than deter potential love connections, jewelry can present an excellent segue into learning more about a man: Renata Dorfman, a jewelry designer whose brand, Rendor & Steel, offers a unisex bullet necklace, sees men’s jewelry as the ultimate conversation starter. “You wouldn’t normally comment on a guy’s shirt, but a catchy necklace or bracelet is always a great opener,” says Dorfman. “Plus, you never know what you’re going to discover.”
Indeed, accessories are one of the only sartorial arenas in which a man can fully express himself and still remain work appropriate, an opportunity that clothing—particularly for those working in the corporate world—doesn’t necessarily offer. (Consider your tax attorney in one of Rick Owens’s Fall 2015 peekaboo looks versus, say, your tax attorney sporting one of the designer’s signature leather cuffs.) As it turns out, a strong accessories game may actually be an indicator of character and defined sense of self. Shah advises men looking to make a foray into the category to “start with something simple like leather bands and work their way up to light metal chains, after which they can start experimenting with heavier metals and more artistic designs.” Daley suggests taking a long, introspective look at yourself first: “When trying to find something for yourself, look at what you already own and who you already are. Businessman who likes to sail? Get a pair of silver sailboat cuff links.” But what if you want to break out of what you already own and who you already are? Start small: “I think a good watch and a couple of rings go a long way in adding a bit of something extra to an outfit” says Dumler, noting that the most important part is not to strive to please anyone other than yourself. “If for some reason your jewelry is visually offense to people, fuck ’em. You feel great, and that is what matters!” And when it comes to that kind of confidence, well, there’s a reason that Depp’s never been hurting for dates.
Marina Khorosh is the author of DbagDating.com
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