Before I begin my treatise on why you should never buy a fashion person fashion for the holidays, let me tell you the exception to that rule. As Iman often recounts, the very first gift her now-husband, David Bowie, bestowed upon her was a Birkin bag. She still has it, because why wouldn’t she? Bowie, being Bowie—a glam rock god himself—hit it out of the park, gifting a supermodel—who most likely receives gifts from designers daily—one of the most consummately coveted accessories. Even if the Hermès satchel isn’t your style, you can at least respect the craftsmanship of the handbag; you can at least concede that a man who took on the daunting task of purchasing the high-ticket item for a fashion icon was onto something.
But here’s the ugly truth: Your lovely, generous, and well-intentioned bae, family member, or bestie is not David Bowie. In fact, they’ve most likely bought you a chintzy holiday sweater (or two), a so-not-your-style coat, or an ill-fitting pair of pants. Which is fine and to be expected, but when you’re a fashion person by inclination or occupation (or both!), it can hurt on so many levels. Not just because you don’t want to disappoint those closest to you who went out of their way to buy said pants (“You wear pants, right? I saw you wearing pants last week!”), but because you don’t want to waste anyone’s time. As a fashion writer, I examine and assess clothing and style all day on both a micro and macro level; I scour the market; I seek out new designers and items to obsess over. I know what I want when it comes to fashion. Hell, I’ve known since I was a teenager.
Starting at 12, just as my personal style was coming into being, I began compiling all the items I wanted from the J.Crew and Delia’s catalogs for Christmas, drawing up a comprehensive list and adding style numbers, page numbers, sizes, and color codes for my parents’ reference. My dad would laugh, but was he confused? No. Was I disappointed on Christmas morning? Rarely. They knew how difficult it was to shop with me, so it was best for me to just guide them. As Vogue.com Fashion News Director Chioma Nnadi puts it, “Who’s going to out-shop me?!”
It’s true: Nnadi’s style is unexpected, referential, and bold—and apparently has been since she was a child. As she recounts, her mother simply grew tired of arguing with the future fashion editor in the aisle of GapKids and began giving a preteen Nnadi money to pick out the items of clothing she was really after. In keeping with the holiday spirit, however, her mother would simply wrap the clothing, place it under the tree, and let her open them on Christmas morning as she feigned surprise. Dilemma solved; everybody was happy. Nowadays, Nnadi says, she’s much more interested in receiving experiences that take her out of her comfort zone: a trip, a book, even a piece of furniture—something new and unexpected. Of course, if someone were to gift her clothing that was a bit more novel and humorous, like, say, a Bart Simpson Jamaica T-shirt, she’s up for it. Because, as she says: “How do you really keep up with someone who is always shopping?”
It’s the same reasoning Vogue.com’s Kelly Connor and Chelsea Zalopany apply to holiday wish lists—convincing their respective loved ones to invest in trips, a piece of art, or even a typewriter. As market editors, they don’t really need any more additions to their seemingly endless closets, but rather things they wouldn’t normally purchase for themselves. They’re right: I once received a set of chef knives and a cutting board from my brother and sister-in-law, and it’s becoming one of the most useful gifts I’ve ever received. After all, I am much more likely to invest in a pair of Acne boots than anything, you know, practical.
So what’s the solution for well-meaning family and friends? Vogue.com Fashion News Editor Alessandra Codinha stresses the fashionable giftee provide specificity and details. No one is a mind reader here. “You cannot expect the world to know that you want a responsibly sourced mink-lined enVie heArtwork parka just because you think it very hard!” she says. “So my advice is to send URLs to what you want. It’s the modern girl’s version of leaving the catalog or magazine open with the page dog-eared: You may not end up with exactly that parka, but you’re giving the clearest idea of what you’re thinking about.” It’s helpful for the family member who runs into a store in a state of panic moments before closing or who’s online shopping on the last day of guaranteed Christmas delivery.
To that end, Vogue.com Living Writer Brooke Bobb adds another bit of useful advice: Gift-givers should hold on to that very crucial gift receipt. Two years ago, her beloved, well-intentioned stepmother presented her with a bright blue Balenciaga motorcycle bag à la the Olsen twins circa 2000. With an enormous sense of guilt, Bobb assured her that she loved the bag but made a secret call to her father weeks later to retrieve the receipt. “Bless her heart, I eventually spilled the truth about the exchange and she completely understood—a testament to what a cool stepmom she is,” Bobb says. Bobb took the bag back and exchanged it for a Céline clutch that feels more like her—these days, her stepmother consults her about gift ideas.
So, yes, despite not being David Bowie, you can give the best gift for the fashionable person in your life. You just gotta ask. After all, as Codinha says, “If someone loves you enough to buy you a present, they want to buy you something you really want. Just act totally shocked when you open it.”
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